A few friends and I were talking about marriage just now.. I've nothing against it, infact, i wish i was married right now.. But its just not my time yet.. Anyway, yea.. Marriage..

Now and then people keep asking me "bila kawin?" and all i can say was "nanti laaa.." or "siapa jua kan guna aku ani.." or just smile my way out from answering that question.. hihi.. Seriously, if I could, I would.. You might say its peer pressure, cause it seems like almost all my friends are getting married sooner than I thought.. They even joked that I might be the last one to get married cause of my lack of punctuality. Or I might not get married at all.. LoL.. The fact is, I'm not pressured by my friends but it was the plan.. I planned to get married by the age of at least 25, spend a year with my husband alone before we start a family, 4 kids: a boy, a girl and twins.. hihi.. and i've failed.. Im 25 now and I don't think I'll be getting married soon.. I've achieved almost everything I've ever wanted in my 25 years of living, but yet, my love life was still a tragedy. Was~

Honestly, I can say I'm in love now.. So deep that its scary.. It's been a while since I feel this way.. Clingy, just can't get enough, possessive, obsessive, addicted.. Friends said, "if you can't be away from him for too long, go get married then.." "Wow, didn't know you would listen to your boyfriend.. That's just not you.." "He's the one you've been looking for, isn't he?" "Damn girl, stop talking bout him.. You're in love, we know!" "kawintah!! kawintah!! kawintah!!" hahaha.. and i said,"i'll wait.. if he's ready, then he will know what to do.. he's the one, so its worth waiting for.. and I do love him so much, can't bear the thought of losing him.. and yea, he's always on my mind.. and as you guys know, i always speaks my mind out"..

as we get older, we look at things more seriously.. and one of it is having a relationship.. I remember when I was still in high school.. I got some letters from random admirers, including a girl.. hihi.. it was funny when u think back about those days.. it was fun, no attentions of getting serious, just wanna be with someone you like though you thought it was love back then.. I take no bulls from anyone, once my bf did something wrong, then that's it! he's a goner.. hahhaa.. but now, now i understand of being in love.. Loved and loving other people.. It's everything.. No matter what u've achieved, if u never been in love then u're not living completely.. Nothing hurts more than losing the one u love, and nothing feels more yummy than being loved.. And I see marriage as the end of last season's series and the new beginning of the reality tv show which goes on till death do us apart..

I love the idea of marrying K.. Sleeping next to him, waking up beside him.. Serving him.. Taking care of him; his clothes, food, etc.. Our babies.. hihi.. I hope I don't scare him off with these thoughts of mine.. But I know he's not the type that get scared easily.. He's a man.. My man.. And no man of mine is a scaredy cat.. Oh god, I love him.. Emo~ hihi..




Raya at Chot's, Tutong..

Selamat Hari Raya.. Maaf Zahir dan Batin..